MOTIVATION : “Ma Main Collector Ban Gaya” – Seeing my name in Final List (2/11) – IAS Rank 54

Dear Friends,

We all can imagine how it feels to see one’s name in the final list. Some of our members have shared their feeling on Quest. One such old user is wunwun , also known as Sepoy No 44 and IWRA – An avid forum member – with public administration as an optional. He has shared his feelings with us and here it is, in his own words

Location: Barmer, somewhere in Thar desert.

I was in the daily evening meeting with my bosses where we plan, do and review ( They call it PDR meeting) the various jobs. We were in the cabin of our big boss. He was taking updates, asking questions, cross-questions. I was of course checking the mobile and live updates from Dholpur house( Thanks to that telegram group). I was least interested in the meeting.

In the five minutes of the meeting, the PDF was uploaded. I downloaded the PDF and for a moment my heart skipped several beats. This was it. In next few minutes my fate was to be decided. By this time, I have totally forgotten what my bosses and colleagues were discussing. I went through the first page and could not find my name. I sensed the similar deja-vu like last year. I was sad. I went to the 2nd page and there it was ..I did not have to scroll more. I couldn’t believe that I was there. I checked again, matched my roll no… That’s it…that was me( Rank 54). I had made it. I was stunned for few seconds, looked at my bosses, my colleagues and still not able to make what they were discussing.

Now I was in dilemma, how do I get out of this room without telling them, and without disturbing the meeting. And my excitement was too high to keep me there in the room. So, I had to intervene…I said..” Sorry sir to intervene, but I have to go. I have qualified civil services exam with all India rank 54. I need to go downstairs and talk to my parents”…I could sense their astonishment. The meeting came to a halt and they were shocked ( they were hearing this for the first time, I have kept my UPSC journey a secret for 6 years there).

They allowed me to go, visibly surprised

I went downstairs, and call my mother first..” Maa, Mai collector ban Gaya”! I could sense the happiness and proud in her voice. ?

Sumit Rai

IAS Batch 2018, Rank 54

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